The first thing that is very important to know about me is that I love anonymity; I am actually a very shy person in real life, but behind a computer screen I can become a vocal, out-going person. This is to say that just because I am hiding behind my electronic screen of anonymity that you will see a fake me. Could not be further from the truth. You, as a reader, will actually get to see the real me, a side that I do not show anyone because of my shyness. This is because I can voice my opinions as vehemently as I feel them and share with you my darkest secrets without ever having to worry about you recognizing me on the street! And it is a two way street: you get entertainment, and I get to write about what really interests me.
Now a little bit about the man behind the computer screen, mr. q. I am currently an undergraduate student working on my B.A. in English Literature. I am not your typical English major, however, or not in the way that I perceive english majors. I find that most English majors are the epitome of the perfect student: hard workers, committed to education, over achievers, and perfectionists. And, mind you, I mean none of that in a mean way. I idolize most of my classmates, but sadly that is just not me. I will work hard, but only when the topic truly interests me. Also, another quirk about me and literature, is that I have a strong tendency to try and make myself dislike anything I see to be part of the literary canon. This would include famous writers like Shakespeare and Jane Austen. Sadly, for me, I am rarely successful. I love Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream and Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey made my snicker uncontrollably. Ironic. I guess they are considered good writers for a reason.
My main interest, however, when it comes to literature is a bit anti-canonical, it is a genre I call the literature of the other; topics in this genre include literature dealing with the issues faced by minorities, women, and homosexuals. So it is a broad topic and really a lot of things can fit into it. And within this genre of mine fits other genres like feminist and post-colonial literature. And then one of my favorites: Third World Feminism. A fantastic topic. But, as a man, I sometimes feel bad about being interested in feminist discourse, because if I pursue it to the highest level then would it not be patriarchy encroaching on the woman even more? Or would it be good that a man is taking genuine interest in the plight that women suffer? It is hard to tell, and I guess I will see the reactions I get.
Another big aspect about me is my sexuality; I am a bisexual. I know a lot of people roll their eyes when I say this. But it is a fact, my sexuality has shaped the person I am today, and this is because bisexuality is not mainstream and acceptable, especially in men. So it has shaped and formed the way I perceive the world, which shapes and forms my opinions. It is not always easy being a male bisexual; I am not always openly welcomed by straight people, nor by gay people, and am often told that I am just confused. But that is an entire essay in and of itself. I will save it for another day. The only other thing on this topic that I have to say is that I currently have a boyfriend (my first boyfriend, though not my first significant other) that means the world to me. But on that same issue I had before, many people ask me if they think I could ever go back to women now that I am dating a man. My answer? Of course! But at the moment I do not want to be with anyone but him. I am a monogamous person at heart.
And the last thing about me that I really want to mention in this blog is a bit about my mental history. When I was in high school I was diagnosed with an eating disorder (Anorexia nervosa) and it has been something I have struggled with for years. It has fluctuated between Bulimia nervosa and Anorexia, usually being a mix of the two. I would not say that I am completely recovered, but I am doing much better now, much better than I have been in years. But this struggle with food and weight and body image still affects me and I imagine that I will blog about it soon.
Okay. I lied. There is one more thing that I want to cover in my blog: my middle child syndrome. I have this severe need to be completely different than anyone else that I know. When I was a child, I did a different sport than my siblings and played a different instrument then them. In middle school I studied French when most people studied Spanish. Even my literary tastes are defined by what is trendy and what is not. I chalk this all up to being a middle child, but that might just me taking the easy way out. Whatever the reason, though, I love to be different and I hope that my essays reflect that!
Thank for taking the time to read this essay, and I really hope that you enjoyed it. I know it was rather long, or perhaps not, but I hope it was engaging. Because if you did not enjoy it then you probably won't enjoy what I write about, right? Who knows, wait until my next essay before you make any decisions!
hey man great posts you got there!
ReplyDeletei definitely enjoyed it, cause very few people are able to present the whole picture when they're talking bout their lives. keep it up!
ps: look out for my "blog of the week" soon! i think u have a good chance!
-jacky